When distrust arises in a relationship there are many factors which can be causing it. Unless we understand where these feelings are coming from, it becomes easy to act out, blame the partner and put all kinds of unhealthy demands upon them. Feminist movements and their fellow travelers in social justice formations have too often remained split between the false choice of advocating sexual liberation, or opposing sexual violence; through a transformative, abolitionist feminist politics, this opposition can now transform into an alliance.
Sex positivity means maintaining a healthy attitude towards sex and valuing it, given your individual needs. As an executive board member of the Consent Culture Network (CCN), I've often wanted to follow in the footsteps of other sex-positive activists, in order to gain the attention of those less likely to listen otherwise.
Review sexual experiences in your own life history. Check messages about sexuality from authority figures in childhood. Becoming sex-positive helps bring that world closer, both because we can create a microcosm of sex-positivity and because it presents an example that makes sexual health it easier for others to follow.
Sex-positive doesn't mean that you have to go out and have lots of sex. By celebrating, and not shaming or judging others expressions of sexuality. Just because some women choose not to share what goes down in their sheets does not mean that they are not sex positive, and being sex positive does not mean you are having orgies left and right.
In November, a letter representing 700,000 women farmworkers was sent in solidarity to women speaking out about sexual abuse in Hollywood; in December, the National Organization for Women announced the #EnoughIsEnough campaign to end sexist harassment and assault in the hospitality industry and other sites where low-wage workers—mostly women of color and immigrants—are routinely exploited.